How friendship increases your chances of find lasting Love!
Friendship rocks!
Have you ever deprioritised friendships in order to be with your partner? Or due to having too many commitments for work or family? It’s time to stop doing that, because putting our friendships and our social ecosystem at the forefront in our lives helps everything! It will even help you attract and keep love with an amazing partner - keep reading if you thinking - what?
Pondering our love journey
In today’s blog, let’s ponder how friendships between us can help us on our love journey. Romantic love is one form of love, there are many other kinds - love we have with ourselves, parents, friends, community members, children, pets, nature and so on. The are ALL important. The myth out there that romantic love is the be all and end all is rubbish. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE mushy, corny, spicy, fun, caring romantic love! And… only putting this kind in the driver’s seat is a mistake I see people make.
Prioritising friendship
This is a lesson I’ve been learning for a long time personally - some aspects of placing social stuff as a top priority I totally rock at, and some I am still developing. However, I do understand the positive influence of our friendships on our mental health, our fulfilment, and on our love lives. I can tell you now, if I didn’t prioritise being social I would be less understanding when my partner does not show up to our relationship in the ways I want him to. I reckon he’s pretty happy I do put it high on my list! Lol
How much stronger do you think a relationship will be when you can get some of your social needs, like understanding and empathy, from more sources than just from your partner?
Women at war
The mainstream culture has this weird thing it does where it portrays women as being in competition with each other, as being bitchy, hurtful and manipulative. Sure - toxic sides of femininity can absolutely have these aspects. However, I think people share a true nature of being loving, kind, collaborative and community minded. Pitting women against each other has the effect of keeping us separate. As does the completely false, if romantic notion that one partner can fulfil all of the emotional needs that friendship, and also community, would.
Down the slide
Where have we let our friendship slide? Where have we entered into romantic relationships in our lives only to lose ourselves into the other and to slowly let our friendship dwindle? I have heard of people trying to pick up the pieces of friendship after a relationship break down, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t.
Confused attached extrovert
I haven’t read any attachment theory books. Pretty embarrassing to admit as a love coach, I know. But I am planning to! I know 100s of people – it could be close to 1000s, I have no idea. I’m very good at holding spaces for people and large groups. I love having deep, profound, and even life-changing connections with people that are virtual strangers. I do find cultivating a smaller group of friendships a little challenging from time to time. To be honest I also want to build more fun, loving interactions with those closest to me. I think that’s because I get so all encompassed in being a mum and also this journey as of being a coach and business owner and then I forget to prioritise friendships.
While I recognise the need to grow in this area, I do have wonderful friends in my life! One very beautiful example of this is my Women’s Circle. However, when I first joined this Women’s Circle, I had been participating in Women’s Circle’s already for almost 30 years. When I joined, I shared my desire to want closer friendships – I wanted people I could have a glass of wine with and hang out with. (Not that I drink much, it was more the idea of being social rather than always being in deep inner work). We absolutely could reach out and have a wine or hang out with these beautiful friends if I wanted to, however I do find myself on the busy train a bit too often and therefore I forget to do so.
Perhaps it’s me being attached in a confused way and adding that to being quite an extrovert. Who knows – I will let you know when I have read the book!
Boundary wrangling
Do you sometimes struggle knowing and communicating your boundaries in friendships or relationships with family? Knowing and Communicating them is essential to having people actually respecting those boundaries. Stop being ambiguous with what your boundaries are – journal about them, tune into them and practice communicating them with absolutely everyone and anyone. This is one of the reasons friendships are so important. You can practice boundary dynamics in friendships – because you sure will use them in romantic relationships. Check out previous blobs for one dedicated to boundaries.
The power of community
I grew up with wonderful women in my life – there was my mum, and an amazing array of aunties, both by birth, and spirit aunties. The ‘spirit’ aunties are my mum‘s friends. I grew up in the two different houses of my parents. I was blessed to enjoy aspects of community that the different homes provided. Naturally, sometimes that lifestyle was super tricky, but the value of living in community was profound. Up until fairly recently, humans always lived in vibrant communities. The modern nuclear family or people living isolated away from others is so, so hard on us. This sense of community still lives in me as precious. Being surrounded by people, conversation, music, different styles of cooking and living light me up!
When I was in my 20s and I went to my first women’s gathering – tears came to my eyes in I first walked in to the space. I felt the energy of all the women gathering together – and I had this knowing that we had been kept from each other from centuries. There was no one particular person keeping us from each other. However, archetypal feelings of loneliness, separation and fear of persecution that had been chasing women for what felt like since time began were present for me. Present in my desire to come home to other women, and therefore also come home to myself.
Coming home
Where do you need to come home to friendship? Where do you need to come home to yourself? This coming Valentine’s Day, how can you give to you?
Galantine’s Day
There’s this concept of Galantine’s Day, a celebration of friendship among women. If you live near the sunny coast of Queensland, Australia come to the Galantine’s Day event I am putting on the 13th Feb, 2026. We are going to wear soft and dusty pinks to consciously step into the energy of love and self-love! We’ll have so much fun with connected activities, door prizes and veeery yummy High Tea!
How can you honour yourself and your friends at this time, in the month of Love? Click here to book tickets to Galantine’s Day here in Noosa https://events.humanitix.com/galantine-s-day-2026-celebrating-sistas
Or, email me to tell me a little bit about your current situation and book in for your free 15 minute online chat.