7 Threads of Confidence to help you attract Lasting Love
“To acquire love, fill yourself up with it until you become a magnet.” – Charles Haanel
When it comes to the actions people want to take to help them meet their partner, many talk about wanting more confidence. Confidence to talk to new people – from first getting to know someone all the way to the first few dates in a potential new relationship.
People often meet through connecting online - it does take a certain amount of confidence to meet a stranger from the internet. (And street smarts, always meet in a public place and so on, naturally). Making connections like this used to be highly unusual and is completely common place nowadays. Whether you meet people online or in real life, do you feel uneasy about those first few meetings?
I am so excited that you are reading this today, because these threads of confidence I am sharing with you will go a long way in helping you attract what you want in love! Yay! Let’s dive in.
The Cambridge dictionary meaning of confidence is ‘a feeling of having little doubt about yourself and your abilities, or a feeling of trust in someone or something’. What does confidence mean to you?
Try out weaving these threads of confidence into your efforts around meeting someone special and see how you go – I’d love to hear how this experiment lands in your life!
1. Know what you want
Knowing what you want in love is very important – some people take more time when deciding what car to buy, than what partner to build their life with! I’ve talked about the power of your vision and your list in different blogs, which you can find here: https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/blog/the-magic-of-a-good-vision and https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/blog/your-list.
When we know what our visions and goals are, we can be much clearer about communicating those wants and desires to others. Once you have your vision in place, you can tune into the person you meet is someone you would like to get to know you further. Hold your Vision lightly, but with importance and reverence, all at the same time.
By this I mean know what you want, at the same time as giving people the benefit of the doubt (within reason) and get to know them with curiosity instead of dismissing them quickly for some perceived flaw. When we hold our desires in a fun and light way, they have room to breathe and manifest. If we hold them rigidly and have expectations blown way out of proportion, it makes it harder for it to come to us as we have the energy of ‘it must be this way’ rather than ‘nice to have’ energy. I delve into this aspect more inhtis blog about red flags: https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/blog/7-first-date-red-flags.
Who do you want to spend time with in a room? Is it someone a bit more on the quiet side, or someone who is holding the fort? This kind of inquiry into your own likes and dislikes around how confidence can present itself can be useful in your journey to expressing yourself more confidently as well. Journaling on this on this question can be useful to see what comes up for you.
2. Choose your path
Decide some of the steps you’re going to take to attract what you want. This sounds like a step that’s mainly about logic and strategy – but it’s also energetic. When you have a plan in place and have made some decisions about it, it gives you an aura of certainty. Confidence can be equated to assuredness, certainty, strength, someone being goal orientated and other qualities along those lines. So tapping into this certainty around your plans and the life that you are creating is GOLD, sister! It’s living by design rather than by default – a confident stance indeed!
3. Feel strong
Before you go into social situations, do something that makes you feel strong and good. For some, this will be as simple as committing some time to your favourite kind of movement. For others, it might be more around doing some journaling or meditation. Intentionally doing something like this before going into social situations can really help you fill your own cup first. That energy is noticeable, and people are drawn to it because when somebody is feeling flat, they have a subtle energy of uneasy neediness about them. Not many people I know want to fill the gap of need in someone’s neediness profile. And if they do, they’ve got more to worry about than their confidence levels (Although that will be part of it)!
4. What’s your mission?
Give yourself a task to do in social situations - I talked about this in the blog called mindful mingling. You can see that here https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/blog/5-mindful-mingling-tips.
Having a task and makes you feel purposeful and that will help you tailor your interactions with people. For example, if your task at any given event is to get the names of three people you’ll most likely ask a few people what their name is. I know this sounds ridiculously simple but it really can be that simple.
5. Ebb and Flow
Have the flow of conversation be an even playing field. Share a little about yourself, you can even touch on something vulnerable but make sure you don’t energetically railroad anyone with many tales of sorrow. This is not for the first time you meet someone – it’s more for when you have a depth of connection down the track. After that, ask something about them and make sure you include some sort of follow-up questions. Be curious about people and what makes them tick - that helps the conversation flow better and you will come across more confidently. This is the balance we strike between leaving behind most of your baggage at the same time as being vulnerable and sharing something of yourself.
6. Awareness
Be aware of your surroundings. If you think about it, humans come from a long stretch of time of living in nature. It’s only been fairly recently we have lived in towns and cities surrounded by these four walls. As hunters and gatherers, we had to be aware of everything around us all the way to the horizon. So, remember in the core of your being your ability to sweep your attention over your surroundings. Having an awareness of what’s going on around you helps you feel safe and confident in any given situation. This expands your Ki (Also called Chi, Prana and more), or Universal Life Force energy which is a felt sense of confidence. Movement, living by design, some other aspects discussed in this blog also strengthen and expand our Ki.
7. Know your worth
In the dating scene, your job is not to go out to see if there’s someone who will be interested in you, your job is to go out to see if you will be interested in someone. Of course what we’re looking for is a mutual attraction and connection going forward but as you first meet people, your main focus needs to be if you want to spend more time with them. Inner work that helps you clear negative beliefs and negative talk about yourself help you be more connected to your intrinsic value as a person.
Your value is not connected to your job, your volunteer work, what you do for others or how much you achieve. You are deeply valuable – full stop. You are infinitely precious – the divine of the spark of Love that we all are. Know this, and know it well - the more you work on this, the more confident you will be, which is as attractive as anything!
We’ve delved into 7 threads of confidence today, and how you can weave them into your love attraction journey.
If you want to attract your life partner, I share info on events, tips for meeting people, offers and inner work tools for attracting in the love and life that you want, so come and join me in on my mailing list. Go to this page, and enter your details where it says ‘Let’s connect Via Email!’ https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/contact-me
I look forward to hanging out in email land! In the meantime, go out there and let your Confident Love-light Shine!