Three core beliefs blocking you from love
When I say that inner work is everything when it comes to attracting love – I mean that it is Everything. Even ‘outer work’, the proactive action taking parts of your attract love journey, are also a part of the inner work. I love how actually taking action outside of our comfort zone, pushes us, stretches us and helps us, because it is actually a form of inner work. Action helps us expand in our energy, thoughts and feelings around love. When I talk about action in this context, I’m talking about using a dating app, or telling all your friends you’re actively looking to meet someone and asking to be set up on a date – that kind of ‘in the world’ action.
Today’s blog is focussed on the more ‘inner’ forms of inner work, it’s about the three core beliefs or energy blocks that I see blocking people who want to attract love. As a business owner, I notice these blocks playing out for people bringing their passion to the world in business as well. So while I am, as always, focused on helping you find lasting love, doing conscious work to clear these blocks can help clear the energy in many aspects of life.
I’ll share these 3 blocks as overarching themes, and in specific way they can show up, and ways to work to transmute them.
Love – blocking Core Belief #1
The first one is around worthiness. The deeper, unconscious block says “I’m not worthy of the love that I am seeking.” This block can stop us from even wanting what we want, from putting that all essential Vision into place. Because it feels like it doesn’t matter what I want, because I essentially can’t have it, because I’ve never seen or felt it and I don’t know how to get it. That sense of zero belief or faith that it’s actually going to happen effects everything. It effects how we think about love, how we feel and how we show up in the world, at social events and in any situation where we could meet a potential partner.
There are ways that we can work through this! I know this from personal experience because I was in very difficult relationships as a young woman. I learnt a lot about my personal vibration for love because I embarked on a lot of very deep inner work. This is one of the reasons I help people with the same transformative shifts today. I did 30 days of yoga and rebirthing which really brought me home to love - within myself, with the Divine and also with the partners I chose ever since that time in my life.
When it comes to this feeling of unworthiness, it can show up very differently for different people. For some people, it’s not so deep down, not subconscious. It looks like a lot of very obvious critical self-talk, a lot of negativity, and really being down on yourself when it comes to love and to life generally. Statements such as, “why do I have to go and do that? ”or, “I always stuff up in love”, or “why do I always meet the duds on the dating apps”? Thoughts like that.
For others, it can be much less obvious, we might have done a lot work on ourselves and cleared a lot of the surface stuff already and now self-talk is not as negative as it used to be. It is more kind - not always, but it certainly has times of being more self-compassionate. It can show up in other ways, for example, manifesting the same sort of person again and again - someone who has destructive life patterns. With these people, it’s definitely not a good fit because they’re not in the vibe that you want to have for your life so it ends up not working out.
This block can surface in self-sabotaging behaviour. For example, for entrepreneurs, business owners, since they’re not making enough time for love, they are not prioritising one of the things that they truly want. They tell me they want to finally meet their lasting love partner, but because deep down they don’t think they’re essentially worthy of what they want, they allow themselves to stay on the treadmill of entrepreneurial creativity and striving (as fun as that is!) without taking time for intimate relationships.
Love – blocking Core Belief #2
The second block that I see has the overarching theme of fear of being vulnerable. We have to be vulnerable when it comes to love – there’s no doubt about it, and no way around it. However, being open and being able to show vulnerability does not have to mean we’re open to being harmed. Even though we may not be able to always feel 100% safe in the world, we can hone our intuitive abilities to help us chose our way in life, and also practice preserving our energy by sending our auras out larger that our bodies to hold that energetic container. These practices are a conversation for another day, but I find them very helpful.
Opening our hearts, minds, bodies and lives to another can bring us heartache or even worse. I hear of way too many domestic violence incidents that are heartbreaking and so unnecessary. It’s very real and very scary. Even with that being the case, it does not mean that around every corner, there is someone with so much trauma that they end up violent.
We’ve all been hurt in love before, even if we haven’t really had many intimate relationships in adulthood. Simply growing up hurt us in love – our parents were not perfect and we were hurt from time and for some of people, it was a lot of the time. The very act of clearing these in some way that resonates to you, helps you have the ability to be open again. Especially when we focus on what we went through as children and also in past romantic relationships. I recommend EFT tapping, journaling, rebirthing but it’s incredibly important to choose a practitioner that you feel comfortable with and that you shop around and get a different practitioner if the sessions don’t feel like they’re held in a secret enough container for you.
I need to be open to a certain extent to meet another human being authentically. Fear of being vulnerable can also be like the first theme, very obvious or more subtle. Some people know they’re afraid of being vulnerable and they actively seek consciously to avoid it. For some, it comes out in different ways, for example with a fear of intimacy. Vulnerability and intimacy can mean different things to different people, for example the professional escort in the movie Pretty Woman did not kiss anyone on the lips and unless she was in love. That was her boundary around intimacy and vulnerability. For her, kissing on the lips was that vulnerable place that she found hard to go.
We can practice our ability to be open and vulnerable by sharing how we feel with friends, by allowing ourselves to have tears when they come, and I working through things in a deep way as I mentioned before.
Love – blocking Core Belief #3
The third theme I see playing out as a block to love is one around scarcity. It encompasses the idea such as ‘all the good ones are taken’, or ‘there are no good men out there’. It encompasses this idea that at a certain age everyone you may meet has too much baggage to be able to have a healthy relationship. Well these things are not true they can certainly feel true. This blog delves into this one in a thorough way, so check it out: https://www.welcomelastinglove.com/blog/love-abundance
What if there is plenty of love to go around? How wonderful is it that incredible potential partners could be around any corner in your life?
In the comments, tell me what is one thing you will implement after reading this blog. Subscribing to monthly love notes via email means you get more tips, info about singles events, coaching info and so on. You can do that here: Let's connect!
I am here to support you to clear specific, and general aspects of these tricky core beliefs. Life, and love shows up differently, once you do, I know from experience that it does!